10.27.114
Paiho, Pator, Pator.
We finally got to talking today, after the baseliners released me from quarantine. I met Matariki's Aunt, and many of her clan. I'm starting to feel better. Less ill at ease.
I got news today that the war in Tribute is over. Victory has been achieved. But the war in the North is far from over. Next we go to Geminate. Northern Coalition., our foe, has pledged that they will not fight to keep sov, promising their membership a return to the era of 'good fights' - an era without sov or worries.
If I believed that, I'd be just about ready to go mining Gallente Ice.
We dropped SBUs in Geminate, and what was the first thing they did?
Spent eight hours with a fifty-man fleet shooting SBUs.
Not doing any more structure shoots. Riiiight.
In Geminate, meanwhile, NCdot has found an unlikely ally in their fight against Solar Fleet - Our Allies.
In a bizarre twist, the HBC, specifically TEST and Pandemic Legion, actually committed supercapitals to aid NCdot.
What followed was a massive supercapital brawl that resulted in Solar Fleet's super fleet being thoroughly spanked.
But as Matariki gently massages away the tension in my shoulders, my mind returns to here. To now.
There is so much to talk about. About us. About the future. About the past. So much grief that I've been keeping inside...
So much grief that's come between us.
What bothers me the most is how inept I've felt since the loss of the Isarararch. I failed my crew that day, and I've not had the confidence to fly again since.
I've finally given up hope that the missing six million members of the original Squeaky Bee Colony will return. They've been missing since the Isarararch went down. I had hope they'd escaped but...
It seems they've perished. I shall have to have a funeral when I get home.
Before I came to Pator, I attended Jules' funeral on Amarr Prime. It was a nice service, but it would have been even nicer had the self-righteous Amarrian cardinals performing the service not gone off on a spiel about how Jules' fate was an example of what happened to those who stray. I suppose I should be happy that he was posthumously exonerated from the charges of heresy brought against him. And at least we recovered his body. Bah.
Matariki still grieves for her lost friendship with Gotti. I can feel it. I feel as if I am to blame, somehow... and this grief...
This grief has created a space between us.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Monday, October 22, 2012
War and Separation
10.22.114
Pator, Pator, Paiho.
Quarantine. Placed in a quarantine by these savages. And Mata knows why, but she will not say. They bring us food each day, but we do not see them. I feel as though I am being held captive, and Mata is now suffering because of me. Every time I think of it I feel my blood rising, as the winds oustide remind me that these minmatar see me as the enemy - a hated caldari. It has rained since I arrived, though my only indication of this is a single strong window in my prison.
While not uncomfortable, especially as far as prisons go, indeed it is quite comfortable, it is still a prison.
And I do not like prisons.
Meanwhile, my neocomm tells me that H-W, along with thirteen other systems in Tribute, have fallen to the forces of the CFC in a single, sweeping op that laid waste to most of the region.
And I'm here. In a cage.
I came here to see Mata - now I feel as if I've made a mistake.
I hate prisons.
Pator, Pator, Paiho.
Quarantine. Placed in a quarantine by these savages. And Mata knows why, but she will not say. They bring us food each day, but we do not see them. I feel as though I am being held captive, and Mata is now suffering because of me. Every time I think of it I feel my blood rising, as the winds oustide remind me that these minmatar see me as the enemy - a hated caldari. It has rained since I arrived, though my only indication of this is a single strong window in my prison.
While not uncomfortable, especially as far as prisons go, indeed it is quite comfortable, it is still a prison.
And I do not like prisons.
Meanwhile, my neocomm tells me that H-W, along with thirteen other systems in Tribute, have fallen to the forces of the CFC in a single, sweeping op that laid waste to most of the region.
And I'm here. In a cage.
I came here to see Mata - now I feel as if I've made a mistake.
I hate prisons.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Weary worlds
Personal Log of Aracturus Camarus.
D7-ZAC
Aboard Spearhead Six.
As I watch worlds drift past me in the endless void of space, I wonder how many wars they have seen. How many more they would see.
It tires me endlessly.
I haven't seen her in weeks.
The war has exhausted me, and suddenly I know what the looks in the tired faces of the people upon these planets means.
They are tired of the death. The Killing. The struggle.
And so am I. So tired.
I rest each night uneasy, trying desperately to sleep. But sleep is denied to me, or is short enough as to be inconsequential. I watch battles from afar now. Perched in my bomber high above the battle, waiting for my moment to strike. Watching people die by the millions. It's... pretty. In it's own sort of way.
May I sleep in Death.
D7-ZAC
Aboard Spearhead Six.
As I watch worlds drift past me in the endless void of space, I wonder how many wars they have seen. How many more they would see.
It tires me endlessly.
I haven't seen her in weeks.
The war has exhausted me, and suddenly I know what the looks in the tired faces of the people upon these planets means.
They are tired of the death. The Killing. The struggle.
And so am I. So tired.
I rest each night uneasy, trying desperately to sleep. But sleep is denied to me, or is short enough as to be inconsequential. I watch battles from afar now. Perched in my bomber high above the battle, waiting for my moment to strike. Watching people die by the millions. It's... pretty. In it's own sort of way.
May I sleep in Death.
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